One of my favorite blog vixens, Alexa from NYHotties.com, was talking a little bit about pillow talk the other day. You know the drill; after you are done “making it” with your significant other (or random drunken hook-up) there is always that moment where a decision is made. The decision is whether or not a conversation will ensue. Most of the time, the decision is made by the woman in the bed (because they naturally enjoy… well… talking) and it the man is dragged in against his will. But then again, as Alexa found out, there is sometimes just a bit of randomness that goes into what is said. As an escort, she has found that there have been all kinds of oddities in her post-intercourse interactions:

Over the years, I??™ve had my share of the intimate post-coital confession. There was the guy who told me he believed he was THE Cassanova in a past life (really), the girl who wondered if I had noticed that she had two vaginas, not one (It??™s an internal medical condition. I checked), and the guy who admitted he had lost his virginity to a llama at sleepaway camp??”and has been turned on by petting zoos ever since.

She then goes on to tell about one of the most ridiculous pillow talk confessions ever, but in order to get that part you will have to hit her site and read for yourself. Her article reminded me, though, that there is a bit of code to how this pillow talk begins, at least for the ladies there is. Thankfully for you, I have unlocked this code and will now share it:

If she says: “That was amazing! Let’s cuddle.”

Then she means: That she faked an orgasm and is glad that it is over. She may not be ready to ravage you again soon, but don’t take it personal; you are just not that good in the sack. Thankfully you have money, a future, and an overwhelming ability to be pushed around to keep her happy, right?

If she says: “That was the best I’ve ever had! Let’s cuddle.”

That means: Once again she faked it, but she probably does like you, so it is not a total loss.

If she says: “Was it good for you?”

That means: She is checking to see if you noticed that she faked it.

If she says: Nothing, just gets up and leaves.

That means: That it was so terrible that words cannot describe it. You also will never see or hear from her again. Good luck with celibacy.

If she says: Nothing, she just falls right to sleep.

That means: You are obviously married and it was your quarterly bonus… Tomorrow you will go back to being more celibate than a Catholic Priest.

If she says: Nothing, she just lays there and stares at you with a look of wonder in her eyes.

Then she means: That you are the King of all men, and she is still recovering from orgasm #3. If you experience this, then send me an email… You can have the website for your own.

That is pretty much the code, as I have deciphered thus far. If you have any of your own feel free to submit them in the comments section below.

Technorati Tags: Sex, Escort, Christianity, Conversation, Pillow Talk, Marriage, Dating

Original: The Pillow Talk Code

Filed under: Guys Advice